Tanner James: 4 months

What's been happening this month:

• Scooting around all over. He tries to scoot on his booty out of the bouncy chair and swing.  He has to be buckled at all times now. He can also turn himself completely around when laying on his back.
• Still swaddled but gets his arms out a lot.
• Still in bassinet and sleeping with us.
• He is waking up more at night since I have gone back to work.  I don't really mind it since I get extra cuddles at night.
• I'm back to pumping, so that's annoying.
• I've had a lot more trouble losing weight this time around so Kyle got me a Fit Bit for my birthday.  It's helping a lot.
• He still spitting up a ton.  It's frustrating for all of us.  We all need an extra change of clothes at all times.
• He is super snuggly and loves to be held, worn in a sling, and cuddled.
• Rolling over from tummy to back.
• He doesn't mind his tummy time and will hang out there for a while.
• He has set a predictable schedule with a long afternoon nap but is pretty flexible too.

Tanner James: 3 months

What's been happening this month:

• Lots of smiles and laughing.
• He is super ticklish.
• Loves taking baths but cracks up in anticipation of being tickled when I wash in his neck rolls.
• Getting really chunky.
• He is starting to lose his hair and its kind of patchy.  It's not the best look.
• He is still the most easy going, chill baby. He doesn't mind tummy time. He can and will go from wide awake to asleep all on his own, although I nurse him to sleep anyway because I like to.  He never cries.  He just so happy all the time.  
• His neck is getting really strong and he's more and more sturdy every day. 
• We got a swing and he loves being in there.  Blake never really liked the swing.
• He tries to mimic our facial expressions and coos. 
• My milk supply is still really good.  That's making things less stressful this time.
• My nursing aversion is almost completely gone. I'm so glad I finally have a name to what I was experiencing. I had it in the beginning with Blake also and never could figure it out after many hours of Googling.  I described it as itching or that my nerves felt like they were going crazy when I was feeding Blake.  I would scratch and tear at my face and neck whenever I was feeding Blake in the beginning.  Then it went away and I forgot about it.  Then I had Tanner and it started up again. This time I Googled "skin feels like it's crawling while nursing baby."  Up popped all this info about nursing aversion.  I seem to have a mild case since all it really does is make my skin feel creepy and sensitive but some people get bad feelings toward their children which is terrible I'm sure. Anyway, it's gone now, yay!
• I went back to work which is going fine but still sucks. Thankfully he's easy on all of our baby sitters and Blake is a great big sister helper.

2015

Recap of 2015

I got a job as a SLPA at Cornerstone Therapies. I love doing therapy and have awesome clients but it's hard to be away from Blake. It will be even harder leaving 2 kids but I think it's good for all of us:

We got Disneyland passes:

 Frozen on Ice blew. her. mind:

  

I got preggo with Tanner:

Blake was a flower girl in the Bastien wedding:

We are still loving living in Seal Beach:

Princess dresses rule our lives (even at naptime):

Blake turned 2 at Disney (and enjoyed the chocolate cake they gave her at Ariel's Grotto):

We went to Hawaii:

Halloween:

Christmas:

As you can see, we have had an amazing year!

Goals for 2016:

1. Spend as much quality time with my kiddos as possible. Have some fun adventures.

2. Have a few date nights.

3. Start saving some money. It's time to get serious.

4. Carve out a little "me" time. Get back in shape, relax a little, read, have a girl's night.

5. Quit Tsunami. I want real weekends.

Tanner's Birth Story

Tanner James O’Bryan

7lbs. 5oz.

20 inches

Born on January 11, 2016 at 7:14pm

I went into labor on a Monday morning while getting ready for work.  It was 6am and I had a few contractions but didn't know if it was the real deal or not.  I had been having them for past few weeks.  It was also 17 days before my due date and I had no expectations of having an early baby.  Anyway they kept coming and I had to decide whether or not to go into work.  I figured it's better to be safe so I called in and told them I wasn't coming in.  About 9am I texted my doctor and she told me to come into the office to get checked first since she was at work.  We got everything ready and had my sister come over to watch Blake and headed over there.  I was dilated to almost 3 and 80% effaced.  She said that was a good start but to walk around for an hour or so to get things moving along before checking into the hospital.  We ran some errands and walked around and headed over to the hospital about noon. They took me back and then told me to walk around the hospital and eat lunch to see how I progressed.  Luckily they decided to keep me and admit me to labor and delivery.  Even if they had sent us home there was no way I was going home.  I knew by this point that I was in labor and things were moving right along.  On the way back we ran into our awesome nurse that was there for Blake's delivery.  Unfortunately she was the head nurse in charge of everyone that day and couldn't be our nurse. That was a bummer but she said she would make sure we got a great one.  She definitely did take care of us because we got a really great nurse and she was with us all the way until Tanner was born (right at shift change time).  I was already at 4cm by the time I got into labor and delivery and was ready for that epidural.  It really does make the whole experience so much more pleasant.  My doctor was not on call that day but she said she would definitely be there and only just had a few quick surgeries that morning.  Again, she is the most amazing OB/GYN out there.  The nurses kept asking who we were because we knew the charge nurse and we had Dr. Koe coming in special for us.  Apparently she never does stuff like that. 

Once I got the epidural, I could really relax and just wait.  We hung out with our moms and I had my sister text me pictures of Blake.  Just like last time I made good progress after the epidural and was ready to push within and a couple hours.  The nurse said it would be a lot quicker this time so I would not be doing any test pushes before the doctor got there.  That was a relief, knowing that it would be quicker and that I would be holding my little man in just a matter of minutes.  I pushed for around 30 minutes which was much less than with Blake and got to help deliver him like I did with Blake.  Once his shoulders were out, I grabbed him under the arms and pulled him out myself.  It is truly the most amazing thing.  I don't know why anyone would not what to do it.  Needless to say, I was obsessed with him from the very first second and we bonded immediately.  I was so much less tired and out of it than I was with Blake, probably because this all happened in the daytime after a full nights sleep and because it was easier and quicker.  After that I just held him on my chest and nursed and Kyle and I stared at him for an hour or so.  He has lots of hair and Kyle and I both think he looks really different than Blake. We aren't sure who he looks like yet though.

I donated my cord and cord blood so there were about 10 people in the room, which is kind of annoying but you really learn to throw your modesty out the window when it comes to giving birth. Donating was the best decision and the girl who collected the blood and cord told us all of the amazing things happening in stem cell research right now. 

Blake waited up past bedtime to FaceTime with us and she was so excited.  All she could do was giggle and say "he's so beautiful".  I don't know how a two year old comes up with that but it's pretty much the most adorable thing I've ever heard.  

I had such a good experience with Blake that it's hard to believe a delivery could be easier than that but this one really was.  I'm really lucky to not have any complications and just an all around pleasant childbirth experience.  Now to convince Kyle that we need to have at least one more child...

Now that we are home, I'm addicted to snuggling him and smelling his head.  It's like a drug and you can feel the hormones take over when you get a whiff of your baby's head.  He is eating great and sleeping 24/7.  It's been much less stressful than the first time around so we are getting so much quality time.  Blake has been great and loves being the big sister.  I'm pretty lucky to have the greatest kids ever born so the transition hasn't been too tough so far.  We will have to wait and see how he is in a few weeks when he becomes more alert and starts keeping me up at night.  For now, everything is bliss so I plan to enjoy it while it lasts. 

My birthday is looming...34 is almost mid 30s.

Alright, alright 34 is mid 30s but enough about that.

Things to start doing in your 30s

If you haven't started doing these things already, it's time to start.  I read this article the other day and it had some great reminders. Of course none of this info was new to me but it's easy to keep saying "I will start that tomorrow."  It's time to take action before it's too late.

1.   Start saving for retirement.
2.   Start taking care of your health. (diet, exercise, mental health, etc)
3.   Don't spend time with people who bring you down.
4.   Be good to people you do care about.
5.   You can't have everything, focus on a few things you do well.
6.   Don't be afraid to take risks, you can still change.
7.   Continue to grow and develop yourself.
8.   Nobody knows what they are doing, we all just wing it.
9.   Invest in your family.
10. Be kind to and respect yourself.



Another thing I try to do is spend a few minutes of my day thinking about the things I am grateful for.  It's cheesy but thoughts really do change how you feel and then how you act.  They can shape your life.  Last year I decided to make a vision board.  I definitely don't post this up in my house or anything but I gathered some pictures and quotes of things that inspire me or are things that I want for my life and made a word document.  I look at it on my computer or my phone whenever I can and guess what?  Pretty much everything on last year's board has happened in my life in one way or another.

Blake Olivia Turns One!!!

I can't believe it!  This year has gone by so fast.  Even with our sleepless nights, it still flew by.  I swear I'm going to turn around and she will be asking for a car.

The party was awesome, except for the fact that Orange County is baking right now.  It must have been 95 degrees inside my house that day.  Ok so the theme was luau but I got really into flamingos towards the end of my planning so it was sort of pineapples and flamingos.  I don't really know what that technically is but I don't care...it was super cute.

Some highlights:
-We had a great turnout and Blake had tons of amazing people to celebrate with.
-There were tons of babies here, all about the same age, and not one meltdown.  Good job moms and dads.  We have some really great kiddos :)
-Blake participated in the cake eating but didn't really love it.  Yessss, I hope she doesn't get her mama's terrible sweet tooth.
-She wore her adorable gold Gap sandals all day and didn't have a fit about it.
-She received tons of really cool toys and super cute outfits.

And for my last monthly post for the 1st year...
Here's what's been happening this month:

• Cruising and walking holding on.  She is so fast now and has even taken a few steps on her own.  She's really close to just letting go.
• She had a clingy phase toward the beginning of the month and a total sleep regression.  This could be tooth related or just developmental, I don't know.
• She now has 8 teeth in and 2 more cutting through.  We brush twice a day every day now and she loves it.  I have to sing the Raffi "Brush Your Teeth" song every time of course.
• She loves to be sung to and we sing at every bed time and nap time now.  I have to sing to get her to eat, to let me change her diaper, etc etc.  She must love my terrible singing voice.
• She also loves Sesame Street songs which I will admit right now that I'm a terrible mom and she does get a little "screen time" on the ipad watching them. She dances and sings along to them.  I highly doubt I'm doing that much permanent damage ;)
• I'm still nursing on demand and my stock answer every time someone asks when I'm going to wean her is " when we are ready."  So basically I have no idea and we are totally fine with that.  It's so hard in the beginning and we have just gotten to the good part a few months ago so I'm definitely not ready to give that up yet.
• I tried to stop nursing to sleep to see if that might help her sleep longer and it backfired on me.  She was just going through a phase and we are back to the old routine and she's getting better and better.  This week I've had a 8 hr stretch and a 7 hr stretch, which makes me feel like a new person in the morning.  I might try some more light training in a month or two and see how she does.  By that I mean trying to night wean for part of the night and keeping her in her own bed for the whole night no matter what.  We are already starting some of that so it won't be a huge transition. 
• Blake's current loves: books, bath time, Curious George, doing things she's not supposed to and getting caught (she's an adrenalin junkie), flirting, waving, her sippy cup, driving (going for walks in her pink push car), swim class, and cheerios.
•  She's waving and saying bye bye but it sounds like buh buh buh.  I have heard hi a few times also and of course the mama/dada babbling still but they don't have the real meaning like bye bye does.

Over the course of this year, I have experienced extreme sleep deprivation, highs of confidence, lows of insecurity, the fear of baby's first fever, the thrill of her first crawl/steps/word, the amazing feeling that comes when she leans in for a kiss without being asked.  I learned how to do just about anything with a baby strapped to my chest/back or on my hip.  I'm learning to let stuff go, to lead by example (put myself in check), to take one day at a time because you just can not predict what will come up, and I'm even (a year later) starting to find myself again and do some things just for me.  This year, I have learned more than I have in the last 25 years in school.

It's been the most challenging and most rewarding experience of my life and I can't wait to see what I have in store with year #2.