Friday, March 30, 2012

Stress Case

I'm a worrier and I always have been.  I come from a long line of worriers.  No matter how I try to shake it, I'm just like my mom, who is just like my grandma.

Every semester, despite my almost flawless GPA, I worry I'm not going to make it through grad school.  Every time I walk the dog, I worry he is going to wiggle out of his collar or pull the leash too hard and run in the street (which he actually does BTW).  I worry about our jobs, our financial future, our health, our families.  I worry about getting pregnant and we haven't even started to try.

But at this particular point in time, my biggest worry is this fast approaching wedding.  I have no reason to be this way.  We have an amazing planner who handles all of the coordination and appointment making.  I have an amazing mom who is helping me with all of the planning and DIY projects.  I have yet to be told "no" for anything, although I am trying to keep everything within reason :)

Even with all of this help, I am constantly worried about how it is going to turn out.  I have been bombarded with so many ideas that I can't commit to anything and when I do commit, I second guess it every time.  I'm so worried that nothing will go together or I won't be able to pull it all together to be the beautiful amazing day that it is in my head.  I'm worried that I will feel hideous in a dress that I loved when I bought but now have convinced myself that it just isn't right at all.  

The only thing I know for sure is right is who I am marrying.  That's all that should matter anyway right?  But again, I am a worrier.  I'm even worried that stressing about all this makes me so superficial and it really shouldn't matter.

I'm hoping this post sends some of this stress into the universe and away from me :)

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