I recently I read online about a letter circulating the
internet from a Delta Gamma president to her sisters. It is atrocious. I got it from gawker.com and they changed the
authors name for privacy.
Here it is:
**If you prefer a funnier take on the whole thing, you can listen to Michael Shannon read the letter on Funny or Die.**
**If you prefer a funnier take on the whole thing, you can listen to Michael Shannon read the letter on Funny or Die.**
If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to
whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough
fucking ride.
For those of you that have
your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter,
we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social
interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY
being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you're reading this right
now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Julia, I've been having so much
fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now
so that I don't have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself.
I do not give a flying
fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love
to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to
sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is
about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not fucking
possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our
matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh
wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH
US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it
spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits
that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA
NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question,
I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I
can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly
said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD
YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF
THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give
a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire
family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do
fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.
"But Julia!", you
say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this
email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that
count for something?" NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN'T.
DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING
UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being
fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like
"durr what's kickball?" is not fucking funny), but I've gotten texts
about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking.
Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU
CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A
SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what
it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter
of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time
someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I
will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that,
and I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.
"Ohhh Julia, I'm now
crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this
email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that
stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit
during the day, this following message is for you:
DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S
EVENT.
I'm not fucking kidding.
Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and
have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are
HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls
that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking
faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I
can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know
how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't fucking show up
unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter.
Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at
tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even
kidding. Try me.
And for those of you who
are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck.
Go fuck yourself.
Pretty bad right?
Well I was and always will be a DG sister. I have mixed feelings about this one
though. On one hand, the general ideals
of the organization are to foster friendships and help young women grow into responsible,
caring and charitable adults. After all, our motto is "Do Good." In some
ways joining the house did those things for me.
On the other hand, I learned a lot about myself and what I didn't want
in my life. As much as I would love to
say that this type of terrible behavior is all just a myth brought on by rumors
and ignorance of people not in the Greek system, it’s just not true. This type of thing happened a lot. Maybe not to this extreme but I remember
being told, as a group, many times that we were not acting the way that our
older sisters wanted for our reputation.
Not because our GPAs were too low or that we were conducting ourselves
in an unladylike manner but because we weren't making the house look “good” or “cool”, which might not have been stated literally but it was certainly implied.
There are many positives of “Going Greek”. Pledging helped me to be part of a group when
I was all alone in a scary new place. I
have friendships that have stood the test of time and we have so many memories
of incredibly fun times from our college days and after. I've helped charitable organizations and I've met people from all over the U.S. In the
last few weeks I have seen my sisters all come together to help one of our
fellow DGs who was hurt in the Boston bombings and that kind of community and support
is astounding.
But there are negatives too. Most Greek houses do not
embrace diversity, individuality, or going against the norm. They bring
together like-minded people from the same socioeconomic status and train them
to be just like all those that came before them. Personally, I am a liberal. I was raised by a strong, independent, single
mom who taught me to value my morals and speak out. When my sorority was doing something that I didn't agree with, I was vocal about it and more than once I chose not to
participate or put myself in a position of humiliation for the sake of
sisterhood. This made me somewhat of an
outsider.
Ultimately I ended my
active membership with the house when I left the University of Arizona. DG was not my reason for leaving Arizona
prior to graduation. Had I stayed, I
probably would have stayed affiliated with the house but limited my
participation just to the things I felt were worthwhile. And when it’s all said
and done, 13 years later, I still can’t help but feel a little bit of pride and love
for my sorority. I choose to remember it
for all of its positives and will always defend it to the many haters out
there.
I am thinking about this now that I have a baby girl on the way. When it comes time for her to start making
these types of choices in her life, I hope I will have given her the tools to
make the right choice for herself. I
hope she does what is best for her and what helps her to be a confident,
tolerant, kind, thoughtful young woman, whether she “Goes Greek” or not.
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